Riding the Roller Coaster of a Cancer Diagnosis

Image Courtesy of paulbr75 at Pixaby.com

It’s been difficult writing this last week as the realities of this breast cancer diagnosis set in after returning home from San Diego.  Writing is so helpful for me, and it’s really very healing. Writing lassos my thoughts back in, so to speak, and brings me back to truth.  It also helps clear my head, and all clatter and confusion leave for which I’m very thankful. It causes me to focus on the only One that can bring me peace, Jesus Christ.   I pray that it brings glory to God and blesses you as well.

My emotions have been like riding a roller coaster as I unpacked suitcases and began dealing with necessary details.  I for one have never liked roller coasters. The first one that I remember riding, the Mighty Mouse in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, was really scary as it rolled out over the ocean and then made a 90 degree turn.  I was probably around 8 years old, and I knew then that roller coasters wouldn’t be my thing.  Yikes!

Roller coasters start out slowly and then the momentum and acceleration build and build til you arrive at the top.  Once at the top, the roller coaster lets loose, and its almost like free falling at a very fast speed.  Thank goodness for seat belts that hold you in or you would be thrown out of the car!  Roller coasters evoke anxiety and even fear, but for those who love them like two of my grandchildren, it’s great fun.  They squeal and hold their hands up in the air and want to ride again, immediately after the ride finishes.  That’s the way this week’s emotions have been for me, minus the fun part. I definitely don’t want to ride this one again!

Periods of peace have been followed by many different levels of anxiety and fear,  just like a roller coaster.  But in the midst of it all, I’ve truly experienced the effects of the prayers of my family and friends as I’ve had positive shifts that could only come from God answering  prayer.  I can’t begin to express to my family and friends how thankful I am for these prayers.  God’s amazing grace added together with the prayers of the saints are truly what’s sustaining me.

So praise be to God,  as I’ve been on this roller coaster this week with many negative emotions rising up and great anxiety,  I am confident and assured that I too have a seat belt holding me in and this seat belt has a name – Jesus Christ.  He alone is my seat belt and He holds me in, close and secure, so close that at times I can hear His heart beat.  Because of Him, I know that I may stumble, but I will not totally fall. (Psalm 37:24)

The struggle this week, I believe, is perfectly normal after a cancer diagnosis.  We are not to feel condemned nor should we beat ourselves up for the struggle, because as long as we’re on this earth, we’re still human and all of us experience human emotions. (Romans 8:1)  Admitting to and looking at these emotions squarely in the face, allows me to see once again how human I am, and that I’m completely dependent upon Jesus Christ to carry me through this. The question becomes though, what will I do with this anxiety?  I have to make a choice.  Will I allow the anxiety to swallow me up and carry me away, or will I cry out to God and depend upon Him to carry me on wings like eagles? (Isaiah 40:31)  Will I take and use the authority that Jesus has given me to overcome the anxiety or will I submit to its reign of terror?

Some days this week, I didn’t make the right choice, and I was carried away by anxiety.  But today, I choose to take and use the authority that Jesus has given me to loudly roar, as some friends have encouraged me to do, to the enemy and say, “NO in Jesus Name, I refuse this anxiety and you must leave me now! (Matthew 28:18 – 19 & Colossians 1:13) I choose this day to believe the promises of God, and that He has a hope and a future for me!

If we allow God in the midst of our trials and in this case for me, into this trial of cancer,  and depend upon Him and not ourselves,  His peace covers us like a blanket.  His love and grace carry us through the trial,  growing, maturing, and making us more and more into the image of Jesus Christ.  As we grow in Him, our flesh (that part of us that’s not yet controlled by God), is lessened, and we live and walk in the spirit. (Galatians 5:16)  This is all part of the sanctification process.  On most days, we’re healed and delivered little by little, but on some days, the transformation is by leaps and bounds.  I pray that today, my transformation is by leaps and bounds!  I pray that for you as well.

So what do we do with anxiety?   God speaks very clearly about this in Philippians 4:6, 7  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.   And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  So I choose to obey God and I will pray to my Father, in the name of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit.  I will bring Him everything that’s on my heart, thanking and praising Him for who He is and all that He is, thanking Him for my salvation, healing and deliverance and I will bring all my requests boldly to His throne of grace.  

Prayer:  Dear Father, I thank You that we can come boldly to your throne of grace and that you hear our prayers.  I thank You and praise You that You are the God over all creation and that You created us and that we are part of Your creation.  You are God over everything.  I thank You for the many blessings that You have given and that You promise that You will never leave nor forsake us.  I cry out to You for your peace today that passes understanding and that all anxiety leaves me and anyone else that’s dealing with anxiety today.  Come Lord Jesus and heal this cancer and heal all other illnesses and infirmities today. Holy Spirit, give us Your power, strength and courage to face this day and the trial that we are facing.   In Your precious name, Lord Jesus, I pray.  Amen

 Philippians 4:6 & 7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.”

 Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”